Helping Your Kids Conquer Confidence (Without Losing Your Sanity)

Let’s be real, folks. Navigating the rollercoaster of childhood is tricky enough without worrying about whether your kid thinks they’re capable of, well, anything. But here’s the deal: a healthy dose of self-esteem is like superhero fuel for their little souls. Low confidence can cast a gloomy shadow on their day-to-day, and who wants that? Thankfully, you, oh wise and wonderful parent, have the power to help them build that inner swagger. And guess what? It might actually be easier than surviving a tantrum in the grocery store. So, buckle up buttercups, and let’s dive in!

Sign Them Up For All The Things (Maybe Not All The Things):

One of the golden tickets to Confidenceville is getting your kids involved in clubs, teams, and all those other extra-curricular shenanigans. Throwing them into a new environment with fresh faces forces them to adapt, socialize, and maybe even discover they’re surprisingly good at something other than making a mess. Think of it as confidence boot camp, but with less yelling and more awkward introductions.

Many of us parents lean on sports (because, hello, built-in exercise!), but don’t limit yourselves! My own little dynamo, my 6-year-old whirlwind (bless her ADHD heart), is currently conquering the backstroke in swim lessons and twirling her way through dance class. Did I mention I encouraged her to brave the school talent show? Yes, the one where she insisted on wearing mismatched socks. The point is, these experiences, even the slightly terrifying ones, build resilience. And when she nails a move or gets a “wow, you were great!”? Cue the proud mama tears (the happy kind!). We celebrate those wins, big or small, and even the valiant tries get a hearty “You gave it your all, superstar!” because with ADHD, sometimes just attempting something feels like climbing Everest.

Now, pro-tip: ask your kid what they’re actually interested in. Yes, little Timmy might look adorable in a tiny football uniform, but if his heart belongs to the world of competitive cheese sculpting, let the kid sculpt cheese! From art classes that unleash their inner Picasso to gymnastics that defy gravity, and even those cool survival skills courses that teach them not to eat random berries in the woods, there’s a confidence-boosting activity out there for every quirky little personality.

Initially, hovering on the sidelines like a helicopter parent is understandable. But as they get older, especially those glorious teenage years (said with a healthy dose of sarcasm), it’s crucial to take a step back. Let them navigate the social dynamics, the wins, and even the occasional “oops, I messed up” moments on their own. That’s where the real confidence blossoms.

Gently (or Not-So-Gently) Shove Them Out of Their Comfort Zone:

Ah, the joys of childhood fears! Whether it’s the monster under the bed or the dreaded high slide at the park, our kids will inevitably come to us with their anxieties. Now, while our instinct is to wrap them in bubble wrap and never let them face anything remotely challenging, that’s not exactly a recipe for a confident human.

Instead, we need to channel our inner motivational speaker (minus the cheesy PowerPoint). Remember that time my 10-year-old, my brilliant boy with Autism who sometimes misses those oh-so-subtle social cues, was terrified of public speaking? We started small, practicing at home, then with a few trusted friends. Now he confidently (well, mostly!) presents his latest Rubik’s Cube strategies at his meet-up group. Boy Scouts has also been a fantastic arena for him to navigate social situations in a supportive environment.

The key is encouragement and gentle nudging. That tall slide? Reassure them you’ll be there, but let them take that step.

That school play audition? Remind them how brave they are just for trying. For my son, it’s about fostering his passions. When he gets a new interest – be it biking, karate, or the intricate world of coding – we find a way to make it happen. Seeing him pursue his dreams, even with the social hurdles he sometimes faces, is a massive confidence booster for him (and for this mama’s heart).

And speaking of fostering connections and building self-esteem in a fun and engaging way, have you heard about the Totem: Self-Esteem & Family Bonding Game? This isn’t your dusty old board game; it’s packed with conversation cards designed to spark meaningful discussions and strengthen those family ties. For kids ages 8 and up (and yes, even us adults can benefit!), it’s a fantastic tool to encourage emotional intelligence and create a supportive environment where everyone feels heard and valued. Think of it as a secret weapon in your arsenal against low self-esteem, disguised as a fun family game night! It’s not just for families either; counselors and therapists are using it to enhance sessions and build stronger connections with teens and adults.

So, fellow parents, let’s ditch the bubble wrap and embrace the wobbles. Let’s sign them up, encourage their passions (even the weird ones), and gently push them to take those leaps of faith. Because watching our kids discover their own strength and resilience? That’s a confidence boost for us, too. And let’s be honest, we could all use a little of that, right? Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a Rubik’s cube competition to attend. Wish us luck!

Enjoy every minute being a mom and continue to inspire your kids!

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Jodi Carlson is a mother of 2 children, wife, and a full time product owner at a large Insurance company. She is a mom just trying to juggle a full-time job with a family life. She shares countless tips and tricks of things she has experienced first hand with her kids. As she continues to guide and teach them to become caring, sensible and responsible human beings, all while working a full time job, maintaining a home and some how still allowing for some personal time and growth. Are you a Girl Scout Leader? Along with Mom Connecting Moms, she shares her 25+ years of Girl Scout experience over at Leader Connecting Leaders , there she shares ideas and resources to help leaders who are inspiring girl leaders of tomorrow plan their troop meetings. Check out Leader Connecting Leaders .